A Step-by-Step Guide to Mishandling Everything
1. Lift Lever B.
1. Locking your knees in place for support, bend your body from your lower back.
1. Tell them that you would love to come.
2. Ask them what day it is.
3. Tell them that unfortunately you’re going deer hunting that day.
4. Check the Internet for information about deer hunting.
5. Take a hunter safety course.
6. Purchase a deer hunting license and a high-powered scoped rifle.
7. Purchase a guided hunting trip in Colorado.
8. Go deer hunting that day.
9. Email pictures of you standing over a gutted deer to everyone you know.
1. Purchase a replacement bulb at the store. The labels (watts, amps, size) can be confusing, so any will do.
2. To remove the dead bulb, hit it repeatedly with a broom handle until it dislodges from the socket.
3. Gripping the bulb with a pair of pliers, push it straight upwards into the socket until it snaps into place.
4. To dispose of the dead bulb, simply drop it off at any hospital emergency room or house of worship in your community. The garbage disposal is an excellent alternative.
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